Thursday, January 21, 2016

COD59-Sarah Palin ate Alan Rickman & David Bowie


Sunday, January 3, 2016

COD58-Ring In The New Year With Debra and Cheryl!

The Duo of Deliciousness, Cheryl and Debra, bring us a special grum for those of us not on the party circuit tonight. After 20 minutes of audio testing by Debra and a short break for a beverage, the grum FINALLY begins with Debra talking to herself as a bit of a technical difficulty keeps Cheryl totally silent.
New Years Resolutions:
Cheryl: No smoking anymore, eat more, tan more.
Debra: Gain weight, Boniva.
Debra plays a string of clips from one of our new favorite grum friends, Stacy. Reliving her one-upmanship brings a tear to one's eye... from laughing so hard. Depends brand undergarments may be needed.
The girls share an old favorite call to the 700 club, one of the grum's best. "'Excuse me ma'am. I don't need to hear you doing that. You can hang up the phone."
Debra calls Stacy to catch up on her plethora of problems but she won't have any of it. The call falls flat faster than Bill Cosby's New Years date.
Memorable Quotes:
Are you in your closet again?
Like a Jay Leno face, but upside down.
Can I return the baby?
Dot-head Indian mixed with Negress bloom, I think.
My face is red. I had some mac and cheese.
I heard a little pee... That made me hot.
How do you feel about animal sex?
Can I shit in your mouth? You talk so slowly.
Cheryl calls for information about ProActive and how it will interact with her pregnancy. 60 day money back guarantee if the fetus is harmed! Just the fax, ma'am.
Debra calls a Craigslist numbie about a car for sale but when she gets a little personal, the call drops faster than Debra's panties at a Snicker's convention.
Feeling the sharp pain of rejection, The gurlz call Chuck Woolery for information about a Willow Curve to relieve their pain. Sadly, Chuck seems to be unavailable.
Feeling a little lonely on New Years Eve, Heather makes a call one of her many men, Ronnie. She shares memories of her grandmother's shared genetics and that fateful, gloomy day Granny lost her legs. The conversation takes a turn when Heather has a little audible accident. Seeing it doesn't phase him, Heather lets it all loose. Very loose. Cheryl joins the discussion to hash over a few issues on her mind. Do your lee-yups hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em 'round your lapse? Can you tie 'em in a bow?
More Memorable Quotes:
Wouldn't it be great if they had their own country?
That was such thick doody.
Biscuit. Biscuit. Biscuit.
I'm a smoker. I've got the smoker face. Very beautiful.
You wanna unwrap my lapse?
Hold Me Close, Tony Danza.
Show us the cheese. Come on.
I've gotta get it up or I can't put it in.
Did you get my pussy picture or not?
Just shoot me in the cunt!
Heather reaches out to Flavor-Saver, Wilford (Ed), for a quick catch-up on this special New Years Eve. His steak dinner takes a back seat to the event of the night, the dropping of the balls. His balls.  Out of his boxers. A few photos, a bit of head cheese and a sick-bag later and the gurlz celebrate the new year with the Eastern time zone. Regrettably, Flav-O-Save's (t m) Tracfone runs out of data after he sent only 2 photos to the gurlz so Heather adds Tracfone customer service to the conversation. Tech Support With The Gurlz. Patt Meters the rescue! 40 minutes later, the pictures start to flow like Wilford's boxers.
The call continues as the gurlz totally miss the new year countdown for the Central Time Zone. A special sing-a-long with Heather entertains the live troops and, as usual, marks the beginning of the end for the grum. Gun control and abortion get a quick analysis as the gurlz obviously do everything they can to get Wilford (Ed) to hang up. Happy New Vooft to all and to all a good prolapse!

Thursday, November 19, 2015


Tonight's show opens with a special guest, Sylvia Browne, as Debra, in her first solo grum in a while, dedicates a bit of the show to Sylvia's great wisdom and words of guidance and comfort. She quickly moves into the latest from our current favorite heavy breather, Simply Sara and her stuffed peppers.
Feeling the warmth of humanity emanating from Sylvia's kind words, Debra does a little research into helping some girls of the night. Awkward hilarity ensues as John TV ambushes Johns and their rent girls.Debra might be a bit jealous of the attention.
The first call of the night has Debbie looking for advice about her pregnancy. She finds out abortions are dangerous for the mother AND the baby! A long list of complications read to her by the helpful man on the other end has Debbie a little confused and worried. A few awkward questions leaves her alone and afraid with nothing but more questions and a dial tone.
Still wanting a change in life from last week's episode, Debra calls about a craigslist house for rent. Mention of a gas range has Debra flashing back to a time when her house blew up from a gas explosion. Too much broccoli, perhaps.
A call to purchase some end-time soups has Debra in an altercation. Her melodic southern intonation proves troublesome for the individuals on the other end.
Memorable Quotes:
Work the runway, baby!
Let the boy get him some poontang.
I'm fuckin' 67 years old. You have no right being rude.
I'm American! Is it because I'm Black?
Debra calls another craigslist ad to ask about a mattress for sale for an extra large child and yet another about a Tiffany lamp who's deep red color reminds her of her sistie, Cheryl, and her special condition. Sylvia answers all her questions about the spirits associated with the lamp but Debra feels nostalgic and tries to channel Sylvia Browne, herself.
Needing some new wheels, Debbie calls about a truck for sale. She wants the workin' woman's rate but he won't come down in price without keeping the wheels for himself. Debra tries to offer a special deal to him. Maybe she should have offered a rim job, too.
More Memorable Quotes:
Did a baby kardashian die on it?
Did anybody die in the house? Kill themselves? Dead babies?
Gimmie a workin' woman's rate. Come own now.
One medium Kill The Gays T-shirt.
I'm so excited! i didn't know they were this big.
Yeah I got that part, Mary.
A call to a Christian restaurant has Debra looking for a rentable space for a Kim Davis support rally with at least 30 patrons. They are so helpful, Debra offers them free Kill The Gays t-shirts! Better have a medium ready!
Mack Daddy pancakes are on order as Debra gets a bit peckish and wants a 6 pound order of pancakes! ("B Y O Chili" --Sir-Pat-Oneself.) Not feeling satisfied after the ample breakfast feast, she calls around trying to find some pink chiffon vapor for dessert. Unfortunately, they don't have it. And they won't have it as Debra gets another dial tone. But she doesn't give up. A call back gets a bit more information about his king size Snickers.
Heather smokes a little chiffon and, as usual when she's stoned, calls her most recent target from her favorite adult chat line to relieve her lascivious predicament. She plays out her Starbucks men's room fantasy with her hot-to-trot beau. She explores darker fantasies as she feels her new buddy out... and up.
Heather calls an anti-abortion hotline to find help with her abortion plans. Astonishingly, the young man helps her google locations for planned parenthood. He may be looking for new employment soon.
The grum winds down with one more call to an adult chat line patron. Heather has to be quiet because her parents are downstairs. She audibly dances for him to turn him on. Her wheelchair dance sounds fascinating but he only appreciates the details of her bosom. The call goes tits-up and yet again, she's left with only a dial tone. A couple of calls back has him feeling guilty. Heather ends up with a wildly sexy pity fuck. Legs be damned!
Don't skip a syllable of tonight's striking solo spectacle or you might find a flaming bag of doggie chiffon on your front stoop!

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

COD57-Space Diva

Debra tries a new cat food she found at PetCo. Unfortunately, you get what you pay for as PetCo representatives find out when they get a call from Debra and her misbehaving kittens. Not getting anywhere, Debra decides to try to calm them down by buying some catnip. She just needs to know the legal limit she can buy. She might even want a little for herself. Hoping an addition to the family might serve to calm down her clowder of feline furballs, Debra buys a kitten for her grandson. Unfortunately, he points out that this new furry friend isn't actually a cat! Not having any luck with the new "kitten" calming down her brood, Debra sadly decides to find some of them a new "home." The language barrier tends to be a big issue though, so Debra tries to find a way around it with technology, being the big techie that she is. The stress and anxiety of the day finds Debra looking for a little relaxation in the form of a massage so she calls to find out how they might deal with her medical condition. Heather makes an appearance when she calls to find a new employer in the form of acting/modeling. She doesn't do math, though. Debra knocks Heather to the curb when she comes back to call about a bad experience with a "hot" meal at a local Asian food establishment. Debra decides she needs a mini-vacay so she calls around to find rates of rooms that meet her special accommodations. While she's already making arrangements, she decides to just go ahead and book her room for the Chiffon Convention coming up. Debra wants to take this moment to dedicate this show and all her worldly belongings including her tech gadgets (except the apple watch because who wants that crap) and cash to her dear, funny friend, BW who takes valuable time out of his busy, full schedule to create cover art and show notes for Debra. She trusts his talent so much that she often doesn't even read her own show notes before posting. Anticipating her upcoming tan and massage session, Debra decides to treat her sistie, Cheryl, to a tanning session, but a "real" "burning" one. She makes sure that they can also accomodate Cheryl's medical condition. Debra has the uninformed lady google the condition.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

COD56-Fuck Me Kim Davis

Little kid fingers are on the menu for Debbie tonight. 
A California head shop gets a call from Debra in her never ending quest to find a fix of Chiffon. 
A pregnant Heather calls for helpful advice. She's soooo worried about the future... Of her
thespianic career.
Debra talks to Heather's school friend while she's taking the trash out. Debra may need to take out some trash of her own. 
A new chat line friend doesn't seem to believe dear Debra is 25. Too much old-school porn?
Your swollen chicken?
A medical issue interferes with one of Debra's conversations. Gotta make that cream!
Heather finds a kindred soul who takes great pleasure in Kim Davis role play. 
Sex, whatchoo know about sex? 
Ms. Dita, put me in a trance. Louder!

Grandma goes on a "trip."

Thursday, August 6, 2015

COD55-Heather's Seed (Daddies Edition)

"Suck daddy's nuts and I'll fuck your face, little one." Heather Feather finds herself in an awkward situation when she talks to her new friend. Choking, puke and a sore throat are the words of the day as this special edition of Church of Debra goes places it's never been before. Two daddies teach Heather how to plant seeds in her garden!

Friday, July 24, 2015

COD54-Ashes to Ashes

Cheryl guest grums with Debra again! Who knows what secrets lie ahead! The Vacation of a lifetime for 3 special girls! Will Sylvia toke up the boat? Like and Rate me GURLZ!
Cheryl -